Existential bullshit.


I used to love listening to National Public Radio via an actual radio. Back when I lived in Austin, Texas, between 2011 and 2013, and couldn’t afford a TV or Wi-Fi – time-wise or moneywise – NPR was my most treasured media outlet. From the moment I awoke in the morning to the moment I laid back down at night, there was a good chance that if I was in my apartment or my car, NPR’s airwaves were in my airspace.

I liked being informed of local, national and global events from perspectives I perceived as less prejudiced. I loved being entertained by the variety of variety shows, storytelling segments and musical selections.

And then, one day, I didn’t.

Not that I can recall the exact day, mind you; I just remember there not being that same level of “like” and “love” in my fingertips when I would tune my radio dial. Though I can’t pinpoint the date that this shift went into effect, I can point to its cause–life coach training.

In my training to be a life coach, I learned a great many things–one of the most important being that many of the circumstances that seem so real to us are often really only illusions. Admittedly, this was a hard pill for me to swallow at first.

After all, I did fervently and frequently listen to the very real-sounding circumstances that NPR reported. And despite it facing a fair share of criticism from those who, shall I say, are less than impressed with the organization, I found it hard to believe that a purported purveyor of hard news like NPR was, essentially, peddling poppycock.

(Please hold your Fox News rejoinders until the end.)

Nevertheless, like the hero, Neo, in the epic, “The Matrix,” I was presented this hard-to-believe pill and swallowed it; traveling down the rabbit hole and burrowing to the roots of surface matters. Consequently, I began seeing ‘real’ circumstances as being of no real consequence.

(Of course, to those who exist purely on the surface, it’s this perspective that sounds like poppycock or “existential bullshit,” as one person labeled my deep-rooted/intrigue-over-infamy view of Rachel Dolezal.)

All of that said, however, I’m not naïve or too metaphysically-minded to be any earthly good. Nowadays, I hardly listen to NPR or any hard news outlet, for that matter, but I still see what’s going on–on the surface and below. And being the wonderfully complex person that I am, I regularly volley my view between the two. I call this balance.

Balance helps me see the connection between seemingly disparate worlds, and allows me to connect those worlds into one whole one. Similarly, balance helps me see the connection between the seemingly disparate parts of myself, and allows me to connect those parts into my whole self. Lastly, balance helps me use existential bullshit to be at real peace in a world of illusion.

Namaste, bitches.

Copyright © 2014-2016 Stephanie Rochelle Redd. All rights reserved.